true story...

"i smoked a joint... in a daihatsu... with a lebanese guy... with some mcdonalds in the backseat... and some 70's music playing... and im at work... this is my life..."

- some happy human being...

Mired in denial... and so afraid...

ever since i can remember i've always been a person whos loved the winter...
dark... gloomy... rainy... cold...
just cold...
a rather bleak atmosphere...
lets u delve into the negative aspects of everything positive you once seeked and tried to comprehend...
i tend to get that way cuz i think its better off not mingling with people...
i hate holidays...
theres nothing to do...
well nothing outta the ordinary anyway...
this is kuwait...
its kinda sucks...
sucks that i hate living here and look everywhere and blame anything remotely close for my current state of location...
ive been dreaming alot...
lucid dreaming... astral projection... blah...
i wish@astral projection...
i dont think i act the way that i should...
so it was eid this weekend here in kuwaitland...
we guys were supposed to spend a night camping?!?!... in the woods?!?!...
i had other plans... so i bailed out on them...
more precisely... i just stayed at home with the brother and got blizazed for 2 days straight and watched so much stand up comedy...
wow... eventful if i do say so myself...
another 2-3 months and my brother leaves to australia...
don't know if i'll get to chill out with him anymore like i do now...
its weird... its kinda like... ur kid brother just one day waking up and u come to terms with him and accept him for being all grown up...
and next thing u do, u guys are doing illegal stuff together lmao...
but its cool...
i think we've connected... and thats whats really important [atleast to me]...
so yeah... im getting getting into that zone where im realising that im really gonna miss him...
i just hope he does his part and gets his degree done with and maybe get a job and settle down with his girlfrend... who coincidentally... believe it or not... is in australia too...
i just hope he doesnt head into a heartbreak...
cuz thats a killer...
man i remember me during a similar phase and man... it was crap...
the absolutely stupidity that now that i think about it, how could another person really be capable of making me feel like crap?!?!...
and me... being the oh-so-smart-dumbass that i was/is/will be, actually saw that plan through...
the absurdity of it all...
it's harder to live with the truth about you than to live with the lies about me...
i guess which is why im not willing to give any girl a chance...
im not saying that they dont deserve it... im just saying that i dont want any part of it...
its all lies...
its nothing...
theres such emotion involved...
its just... plain... old... selfish...
a girl finds someone who will pay her bills... sleeps with her when she wants it... someone to make her breakfast sometime...
yeah... its pretty much selfish...
nevermind...
im sorry for u...
not sorry for me =)
so i watched the big lebowski over the weekend again... stoned...
lol... was a trip man...
ian watched it for properly for the first time and by god he loved it...
mmhmmm... a cult classic...
finally novembers caving in almost in its entirety... and decembers right here now...
which means... 3 1/2 months to get my plan into motion and leave this place behind...
i dont know...
hmmm...
oh well..
all well and good...
still sober...
worthless liar... imbecile...

Help me leave you... As all the days are done...

birthday week...
hmmmm...
down with the flu...
feeling like crap...
got alotta stuff going on in the background...
need to keep the mind busy and away from these thoughts...
no good...
opeth really does indeed sooth you...
weekend...
had alota fun this weekend though... minus alcohol surprisingly...
the guys went for a movie [some indian crap] and i was left alone with towfee...
haha... good times man...
we was chimneying our way up that night...
i cant believe we sat in a place for like 4 hours doing nothing but converse...
and we got into the topic of racism...
according to dictionary.com

racism Pronunciation [rey-siz-uhm]
–noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

racism i guess originated with the whole black/white concept...
its kinda funny when it all really does come down to just black / white...
ever wondered how everything was linked back to the white man and his determination to prove that they was the more superior race?!?!...
think bout it...
everything bad [almost everything anyway] is somehow linked to black...
black death [black plague]... black friday... black clouds... black cats... black holes... black monday... black magic... black masses...
i cud go on forever...
anywho...
lets go back to the early days...
im pretty sure everyone knows about the ugly duckling story...
that little black duckling rejected by its mother n shit...
everyone verbally assualts that poor lil duckling...
in the end since it has to have a positive outcome, the friggin duckling ends up becoming a pretty ass swan...
ain't that something?!?!...
what is that if not racism in its purest form being taught to kids?!?!...
scam i tell u...
nusery rhymes too teach hatred...
baa baa black sheep anyone?!?!...
thus implying that the sheep was the odd one out... we all know the saying... every family does indeed have a black sheep in they household...
allrite think bout this now...
everyone pretty much has played pool [billiards] in their life...
why is it that its the white ball that u gotta use to put the other colored balls in the pockets?!?!...
moreover, its the black ball that u end up pocketing last [according to the rules], and lo n behold, its the white ball yet again that ends up smacking it in the pocket...
friggin white devils!!!
black has really been taken for a ride man...
so what did black do?!?!
ended up making an appearance in bowling...
white pins n black balls...
but chances are... if ur really not good at it... its the black ball that ends up going gutter...
LOL...
whats that about anyway?!?!...
white is always bout trying to define ur boundaries and showing its dominance and power...
for that matter... even in school i remember using a white out and not something black...
scam...
while we're on boundaries, ever notice how every major game [lets take soccer for instance] has their boundaries set in white?!?!...
its like the white mans way of telling u that if u cross this line, its out...
lol...
what about ice hockey?!?!...
the puck is black!!!
figure that one out on ur own!!!
moving on...
allrite lets look at the human body...
one word... black heads...
lol... self explanatory really...
ur ugly... u got black heads on yer nose...
god damn white chics!!!
lets go on the inside of the anatomy...
in depth analysis so to speak...
white blood corpuscles - whos primary objective is to fight infection...
LOL... it would been wrong to have it called black blood corpuscles now wouldnt it?!?!...
and then there was a man called >>>>
Michael Jackson!!!
the King...
he was black...
then he turned white...
and released a song to confuse people entitled 'Black or White'...
now everybody thought that he was telling people that it didnt matter if you were black or white...
but if you really try to read between the lines, ud figure that he's actually talking bout picking sides...
u gotta be either one...
lol...
then if that wasnt enough they started their assault on black metal...
hmmmm...
another thing to think about...
if someone is a bad person, people say that they have a black heart...
LOL...
let me tell u a story now...
there was this white woman at home...
and she noticed a black man messing around with her mailbox...
she opens her window and says 'step away from my mailbox u black man'...
he replies 'maam im here to deliver ur mail'...
she freaks out and calls the cops...
these white devil cops were high as shit smoking some good bud on duty...
all they hear on this distress call was 'black... man... mail...'
they get on the radio pronto and start passing the message around 'black mail black mail'...
and thats how 'blackmail' originated...
LOL...
later the cops found a bunch of ppl who were wanted for such similar crimes and ended up putting them on a list...
a list which was more notoriously known as 'the black list'...

heres a quick question...
where do u get illegal goods at cheap rates?!?!...
a black market...
haha...
the white man really hated the blacks...
but then somethign astounding happened...
there emerged another breed of people that were even worse than the blacks...
yeah ur right...
the ones from the middle east...
with a lil bang bang here.. and a bang bang there... a trade center later... HATRED EMERGED!!!
here's a theory...
white man driving around in his SUV...
notice tires = BLACK...
now... what can be dirtier than that?!?!...
so he gets stuck in a desert...
and he stops to take a leak...
he notices that the tires are covered in sand...
mmmhmmm...
sand niggas!!!
thats what we'll call them is what the white man said...
even the black tires are running over them!!! lol...
LOL...
so that explains a lot...
while the white man got busy trying to f*ck these sandy mother frucks, he knew that something had to be done to keep the people busy back home...
so what did the white man do?!?!...
exactly...
first he held a meeting in the white house...
and then made Obama the president...
LOL...
so im guessing its safe to say that this is a white mans world...
this post was just for entertainment/jokes purposes...
no disrespect to anyone...
i dont wanna end up with a black eye...

Track of the night : Opeth - Hessian Peel =)

Last Look At Eden

another weekend down...
times just flying by so fast...
and how i love it...
its kinda like watching a sand hourglass patiently...
in the back of your head you know that the sands gonna run out and its just a matter of time...
cant believe my sands almost all poured out!!!
gonna get ready!!! hah...
silly kids... stupid haters... god i love it all...
ended up going for soap football on thursday...
managed to bust my left knee cap and break my glasses...
haha...
fun for what its worth though...
music yes...
was waiting for an album in secret for almost 3 years now...
nah this isnt TOOL...
this is the band that got me into music...
the first song i ever remember hearing to in life when i was just a kid...
its so insane....
i was 4 when i heard my first song that i can remember of...
and heres 2009 and my first favorite band's still releasing yet another kickass record...
wow... never would've imagined that this day would come around...
i was always into rock/hardrock since the early days...
then i guess over time and with the cards that life deals you which adds up to ur love / hate / emotion, i guess the music ends up taking over you...
ends up sorta describing you i guess...
well atleast thats how it is with me...
some people get a high on rap / hip hop...
while others manage to do the same on country...
and me... well i got myself to sneak into the metal community... hah...
to each their own...
*insert shout out to 'silly ignorant catholics who criticize metal and label it as satans weapon' here*
omfg this song is sooo just wow!!!
its exactly what europe needed to pull off...
and they've done it so wickedly!!!
its almost like they dont even have to put in any effort to churn out tracks as such on this record...
just WOW!!!
friggin A... arpeggios n what not!!!

god i feel like a kid once again...
long gone are the days of the hair glam rock pop metal days...
its so brilliant honestly...
we hear of bands like bon jovi who're still around... and selling millions of records in the process...
shitallica anyone?!?!... hah...
i'm on such a music high... not even funny...
i used to be big into bon jovi...
but then i guess somewhere down the road those guys forgot who they were...
and went commercial... forgetting their roots and doing it all for the big green!!!
europe probably had one of the biggest if not the biggest hit in the mid 80's... yeah - the final countdown...
with the oh so ever evolving music industry and change in landscape/soundscape [plain ol' politics if you ask me], how does a band cross over from one era and still be kicking it with modern times?
so many bands have come n gone... not making it through the hurricane so to speak...
i wasnt too overly pleased with the last europe record honestly...
though it did have some killer tracks in its own right...
but this new record blew me the hell away!!!
lemme get into it already...
enough of the back n forth bullcrap...
so i play track # 1...
im wondering if this even europe?!?!...
a filler track as an intro?!?!...
then it kicks straight into the title track (song number 2), rightly called 'LAST LOOK AT EDEN'...
and just WHOA!!!
orchestral arrangement...
wicked!!!
i guess those 2 songs stayed on repeat for like many times...
and when i say many... i probably mean like what 50-60 times back to back?!?!...
too much is never enough...
and so i decide its time for the next track...
lemme see how hard this albums gonna hit me...
and lemme assure you that i wasnt ready for what was in store next...
god...
song # 3 just kicks some serious major ass!!!
its called 'GONNA GET READY'...
and im not even gonna get into the rest of the album anymore...
dont wanna spoil the experience for y'all...
as of this very moment, 'GONNA GET READY' has got 701 plays on my winamp!!!
and im just loving it so much...
you can actually friggin dance to it...
in a strictly metal way of course...
but just cuz im biased towards EUROPE doesnt take anything away from the songs actual credibility...
europes got a crazy list of badass ballads to their name...
and this albums got another one to add to that list...
but not gonna tell you what its called...
all im saying is this...
just listen to the friggin riff that plays in 'gonna get ready' and maybe u could tell me...
its even got a badass old school guitar solo...
hah!!!
in my heart i know that i'll always have a soft corner for europe!!! cuz its what actually started my musical journey...
and suddenly my busted knee cap doesnt feel all that bad...
ROCK ON!!!

sometimes you pay with your sweat
fighting back the tears...
put in more than you get...
it seems you throw away your years...
had my moments of doubt..
well im proud to say...
don't go counting me out...
we're gonna get ready...

But after a while.. You realize time flies... And the best thing that you can do... Is take whatever comes to you...

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

- Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"

Somewhere around the time when i graduated, I remember wasim constantly telling me to check out the movie...
i think we were talking bout trippy movies... and i remember discussing movies like requiem for a dream... trainspotting... fear and loathing in las vegas... natural born killers... and spun...
and then he tells me to check out eternal sunshine of the spotless mind...
then tawfiq, my gym buddy mentioned this movie too...
so after having a copy of this movie for over 3 years i finally watched it last night...

and man...
believe the hype...
i try avoiding romantic movies cuz it ends up springin a leak...
i still cant get over the amount of emotion i felt while watching the fountain...
that movie was just WOW!!!...
anywho... eternal sunshine of the spotless mind...
jim carey... AMAZING...
he manages to make the viewer feel for him / feel his loneliness... and especially the point in the movie where he dawns on the self realisation that some good memories are worth keeping... SIMPLY ASTOUNDING...
kate winslet looked so gorg in the blue streaks...
and i totally loved the contrasts in each others personalities...
its what we hear in almost every movie... 'opposites attract'
dont wanna get into plot details or summaries or anything...
suffice to say... basic plot being - man n woman in love... shit happens...
man finds out the woman doesnt remember him anymore cuz she went through a program where she erases all traces of him in her mind...
in retaliation, he attempts to do the same...
what follows from there is just hmmm... human?!?!...
i dont know...
you tell me...
this movie was pretty breakthrough if you ask me...
reminds me of gattaca on another level... strictly speaking science of course...
but jokes aside... this is a seriously pretty movie and i highly recommend it...
tonight... AntiChrist!!!

I keep forgetting the smell of the warm summer air... I live in a town where you can't smell a thing...

wow...
what a thursday night...
unimaginable...
i got the surprise of my life...
found out chris was back here for good...
good lord he's turned into a skeleton... literally...
man i love the kid...
but i mean sometimes theres just so much that you could take...
with the drugs i mean...
my charlie boy... back in the flesh... right here with me...
but then again... im just...
up-tight... up-tight...
=)
tuta was so messed up last night its not even funny...
ive never seen a kid cry in a long time...
life can be so weird sometimes...
man forget that...
so i been putting on a new mask as of late...
can't really wait to get outta this dump - better known as kuwait...
counting down the days...
sometime around march twenty-ten... and im outta here...
they say this is the best place to come n work and make money...
i say who needs money if you're not happy here...
i been meaning to blog about alotta things...
for instance...
there's this one girl that i chat with on n off...
she's prolly like what? 17? or so...
whatever...
i mean the nerve...
nevermind... she's actually 16...
can you believe that girls talk smack at the age of 16?!?!?!...
what is it about being cool / sounding cool / trying to be cool?!?! when in fact the truth remains that 16 basically means just hormones coming in and immaturity at its peak...
sweetheart im old enough to be ur daddy... lol...
superficially of course... but then again... that's another story...
so im rambling... i like that...
you know what i miss?!?!...
the good ol' days...
im talking bout the days when there were actually some pretty cool ppl online...
the days when yahoo actually had the 'user created rooms' era...
now those are the days that id actually love to see come back...
theres just some things bout the past that actually make u wish the future hadnt just never done got to where it is...
im glad though... yahoo played a crucial part in my life...
introduced me to my would be fiance... introduced me to jenn / p / tarun...
god i love it...
and then theres orkut...
orkut is as shitty as they come...
im hardly like ever on it...
but id be lying if it didnt help me find ~S!...
the guy turned out to be my brotha from anotha motha...
you know how that goes...
he n me just prolly gonna get a heart attack when we hear bout the next tool album thats gonna be released...
yeah... sue me... TOOL CONNECTS!!!...
nice dream =)...
moving on...
im trying to come to terms with myself as to what new cell phone i want in my pocket...
im madly in love with the n97... its just so hot looking...
but then at the same time i want the n85... with its whole dual slide thingy, it sure is a major contender... LOL...
i got like just a little over a month to decide... so lets see how that goes...
all your insides fall to pieces... you just sit there wishing you could still make love...
=)...
music... aahh... this weeks officially been radiohead week...
they sure are a talented bunch...
its funny...
alotta people have been telling me to check out radiohead...
the only songs that id have ever heard by them was creep, high n dry...
and then i heard 'nude' when i was getting my tattoos done...
that shit creeped in like charlie on a friggin horse so to speak...
so i checked them out... and have been amazed ever since...
you know theres these kinda people that you consider close to you...
so you try to share with them the stuff thats changed ur life and made u feel good and all that other funky stuff...
isn't it just hell annoying when they dont give credit where its due?!?!...
nevermind...
im just pissed off right now...
i need to get something off my chest...
just cuz someone loves you and u dont love them back... doesnt mean that you're obliged to love them back...
such is life...
but then again im just up-tight... uptight.... up-tight...
good to have you back chrissy...

p.s. - missin you boo... =)...

Song of the day : Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien

We are all one mind capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable...

i almost missed coming late to work today...
though i sit here safe and peaceful in my lazy ass chair...
ended up reaching on time for work...
3 mins late doesn't count [that's all a lie]...
so... as i sit here smoking and trying figure out the outcome to the question of my long, boring and dry day...
'Why didn't hear I hear the alarm? or my cell phone?'...
so i go back in time to last night...
after hanging out with gavin and watching some stand up comedy [yes, believe it or not... sober], i decided to go bed at 2...
i wake up all freaked out and look at my cell fone... and it says 3:42am...
im feeling a lil hot... i get up and go looking for ian...
he's sleeping in the other room...
i go and drink some water and go n check on him...
he's asleep...
but i just wanna make sure...
so i wake him up and while i'm shaking his leg lke a mad man...
'Ian... Wake Up!!! Wake Up!!!'
he wakes up and says 'Whats Up!'...
'Were you sleeping?'... is what i said to him...
he says 'Yeah'...
'Go back to bed Ian'...
so saying he was asleep...
i had a bad dream... a friggin nightmare...
i was in australia and i'm looking for people...
theres no one around me...
i'm in this big ass house... all alone...
then i see a hot chic...
i go up to her and she talks to me saying she knows where me parents are...
we chill out for a bit and we both walk a bit and i see my dad and mom...
we join them and all four head out to meet ian...
as we're walking we see ian in the distance... with some hot chics and a bbq...
so dad n the hot chic leaves...
and its just my mom and me going up to meet ian...
we meet him and i ask him what was he doing chilling out here leaving mom and dad alone...
he says mom n dad are in kuwait... its just you an dme here in australia... and we we're in a ghost town...
i was like WTF!!!... next thing i know theres scary looking men coming to get me and my brother...
so yeah whatever...
that freaked me out... cuz ian and me split up and i didnt know whether they got him...
blah...
then he couldv'e turned into something like them... maybe?...
lol...
hope you had a laugh...
woke up at 7:30... works at 8:00

I touch the string though the harp may not sing... Still I dare the sky for sun sparks to guide...

wow... been a while since i last blogged...
life has never looked so lonely yet optimistic in quite a while...
for starters... i went shopping with my mommy n daddy and got me some killer boxers...
i bring that up because the last time i went out with them in their car like actually physically with them was on december 24th 2007...
my dad stopped talking to me on jan 1st 2008 because someone came home mad drunk...
fast forward 1 year and 8 and 3/4 months and voila... things are fine...
i can't believe its been that long since i actually sat down and had dinner with my family...
i used to sit at the computer and watch something or the other and eat...
kinda weird feeling so dettached from them but i guess it was all worth the wait...
now moving on to the more juicier bits...
for 1, i dont drink everynight anymore... its been almost a month...
ive finally gotten the addiction (if u will) under my buckle...
now that i think about it... i used to get intoxicated everynight just so that i could pass out and not worry bout falling asleep...
its funny the things we do for what we do...
then comes the smoking up scene... i haven't been doing that either... it's been a long while maybe months that i've had any illegal substance in my blood stream...
i do however drink on the weekend... (do notice - weekend... and not weekendS)...
i guess when im sober i dont talk as much as i do when im intoxicated... i figure im more reserved and less funny... (reference - jenn... but i know she's proud of me)
still all alone in kuwait... no chics to get involved with...
and i started working out again... yay...
i got a partner who's as dedicated as me (considering he's getting married in feb... congratulations tawfiq)

and plus he's got a serious mad insane wicked taste in movies...
he introduced me to what has become in my opinion the perfect date movie to watch with ur girl... CHUNGKING EXPRESS...
words cannot do justice to the emotion that this film hit me with... sure its no 'THE FOUNTAIN' but hey that ones really sad...
seriously do check it out if time permits... and you'll understand why Quentin Tarentino (however u spell it) cries everytime he watches it...
CHUNGKING EXPRESS... a 1994 korean movie... nice...
yesterday i watched the haunting in conneticut... i liked the concept... though i personally thought the end lacked the appropriate finish...
the movie started off with a nice atmosphere and good backdrop to it...
sad that the directors almost made it look like another Amityville movie... but still watchable none the less...
tonight im gonna watch THE ORPHANAGE... heard alot bout this movie and when i saw its connection to PANS LABYRINTH i just cant wait to get outta here and go home n let the reel roll...
other than that i've been enjoying the whole kevin smith series...
u know... CLERKS, MALLRATS, CHASING AMY, DOGMA, JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, CLERKS 2... i have yet to watch zack and miri make a porno but can't really seem to find the time...
hmmm... life...
been the same... nothing great... wake up in the am... go to work... come home... watch a movie... go to gym... come home... shower... eat... watch a movie... and sleep... (with a lotta music in between all of that)...
that just sums up my life right now... except on friday of course where i just sit and watch movies the whole day cuz its the day off...
i still don't go out other than to the gym and the occasional bbq with my boys...
i wonder how guys go out with their girlfrends and have fun n just shop and hang out and go for movies and go out to eat n stuff...
i wonder when ill get to do all that...
i don't really know why im so anti social but i guess its how and who i am... and i wouldnt want it any other way...
tattoos...
ive got crazy ideas for some new tattoos...
but the sad part is... she won't come with me to get my tattoos...
and i know its stupid/silly/childish [u pick] of me; but i just dont wanna get them done when she's not around...
i remember when i was 18 back in the US when i went to get my first piercing; i said to myself... i would never get another piercing or a tattoo in my life... like NEVER!!!
and then fast forward 5 years and voila another piercing and 3 tattoos...
so yeah things do change... people do change...
but like i said... she just won't come...
and i respect her decisions... cuz god knows i've put her through hell...
its like they say... nobody's perfect...
everyone has their flaws... its bout accepting people for who they are is what its all about...

me... im just a cynical old fart... im rather indecisive...
but then again such is life...
i guess it sorta makes me a hypocrite as well... [i bet shes having fun reading this]...
ive always wondered... people want someone to be there for them and do things to please them... that implies to the selfish ones...
and id be lying if i said i didnt fit that stereotype at some point in my life...
sure ive been through a really bad relationship in my past...
but just because ive been through that doesn't give me the right to mess with other peoples emotions who genuinely care about me...
i should know...
im better than that... but then again im just human...
hmmmmm... i wish things were different...
we meet people in life and we evolve as humans and touch them in ways that only they could understand and they to us likewise...
i hope ive touched and inspired the people ive met and the people that ive decided to get close to...
cuz at the end of the day when it all comes down to it... im not gonna be there for them... and they're not gonna be there for me...
but what it really boils down to is whether you're a different person now... and have you changed?!?!... and have you evolved into something you never thought you could be... for the better or for the worse... for the better i hope...
i know you're tried time and time again to read me... to be there for me... and to do all these little things that you do.. when you and how you do... but i mean... sometimes things are just not meant to be...
life is really not as bad as we make it out to be...
the fact that we are humans are selfish and that we are not satisfied with what we have and are always looking for what we don't have just makes it even worse...
i sometimes go on a crazy guilt trip for the stuff i've done in the past... there are certain things that we as individuals wish we hadnt done...
would u go back in time if you could and change things?!?!...
id say hadn't we done it; we'd never come to the realization thats dawned upon us with its after effects...
reality in all its ugliness... so to speak...
and i honestly envy the people who do things on purpose and hurt others without having to feel all bad about it...
i just don't understand how they do it...
some people have all the fun...
okay i think this is getting depressing now...
and then theres music...
ahhh... my ultimate little indulgence...
have been listening to alot of new music...

and my hearts very much content with the latest megadeth offering 'EndGame'
and been listening to a lot of cynic as well...
but still can't get over and around lateralus - my all time favorite completely life changing album... a personal opinion of course...
really feel sorry for the people that listen to stuff like miley cyrus on the radio and what not...
song of the day - MEGADETH!!! - the hardest part of letting go... sealed with a kiss
and suddenly... just when things were starting to look really bleak... a tiny flicker comes on...
september 22 - new porcupine tree album out...